I’m not I am and can’t be

I’m not permanent ever
Future that I know never
I’m not I am and can’t be
Realizing myself within me
 
All that happened till the past
All happenings of this day at last
Until the soil covers the body,
Time and tasks belong to nobody
 
Until the Lord sees me through
I am just a role in the land view  
In this life I gained, neither stage
Nor actions are own for my wage
 
There’re days I believed my intellect   
Even some days in my skills and act
When I realized many things later
I see I’m extant by God who cater
 
I’d strained to be myself as much
To express as own strength such
It was an inexplicable quantity
That I tried N’ tested my ability
 
In one direction, when I desire
To travel undergoing till I retire
When the Lord altered the way
To other direction, I don’t sway
 
As the courses change everyday
By God, I’m led in my life to stay
As all my desires were whacked
To His will, I’m not jam-packed
 
What is my goal to grow?  
So far I don’t even know.
When people say it as a stupor
I’ll wait to words of the Creator
 
I’d not created myself fewer
Why I think about my future
Till my last exhale, all the days
Were designed by His grace
 
I’ve lived the days many in life.
What all we see will go in strife.
Even in the life of a strong man,
I found him tumbling in half-span. 
 
In all of the bygone days,
As I’ve found God’s grace,
In this day that runs and
By Tomorrow, will it end?
 
Henceforth, in my life through
Except God, any a person is who?
Until I see His will upcoming
I’ll wait for His order calming.